“Remember Me”

By: Janine Alcordo (Previous Music Therapy Intern) 

In our intro to music therapy classes, we learned about how music can remind us of certain people and memories of them. Couples often have a special song (“Honey, they’re playing our song!”) that reminds them of each other and special moments they’ve shared, from a first date to a wedding and beyond. This phenomenon took on a whole new meaning for me during my internship as songs began reminding me of patients I worked with. After I read an email that one of my patients passed away over the weekend, I initially didn’t know how to process the loss. I remembered a song that the patient’s father requested to learn on the ukulele during our ukulele group for dads. It was a song from an animated TV show that I happened to know, and without thinking I turned to my piano and began gently playing the chords to the song. As I sang the solemn words in the stillness of my room, I felt my emotions seep slowly through each lyric and note. The words took on a completely different meaning for myself, and perhaps even more for this father and his family. Whenever I hear this song from now on, I’ll always think of them.

I felt a sense of peace after singing their song, and I realized that I had used music therapy for myself in helping me grieve and express my feelings. It was then that I decided to make a playlist for myself of all the songs that reminded me of patients I worked with. As I added each song, I was brought back to those precious moments with my patients. The playlist included:

• An empowering song from “Julie and the Phantoms” that we played during a patient’s dance party the day before she discharged

• A jazzy song by Sade that a father played from his phone as he described how the patient was named after this song

• “Remember Me” from Coco that the parents of a patient asked me to play for her at bedside (it was one of her favorites!)

• “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” which my baby patient immediately fell asleep to as she lay in her Mamaroo

• “How Far I’ll Go” from Moana, which helped a patient shift from screaming, tossing, and turning in bed to calmly sleeping

• A laid back song by Jack Johnson that I used as inspiration for songwriting with a mom and her baby boy’s heartbeat recording

Whenever I hear these songs, I’ll remember each of my patients and how I connected with them through music. Whether or not they’ll remember this music therapy intern who popped into their rooms once a week, I’ll always have this playlist to remember them by. 

Maybe there’s a certain song that reminds you of a loved one. I encourage you to make your own playlist of songs to remember them by, whether it be for fun or for your own healing. 

And who knows? There may be a song in their playlist that reminds them of you, too.